Mere,

Is there any valid reason why a 63-year-old man would receive a phone call from the office of an OB-GYN, other than to inform him of an STD?

My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and maintain separate households. We are both divorced, have grown children and grandchildren, and are supposedly monogamous, but I have had my doubts, and honesty doesn’t seem to be his strong point.

I snooped (looked at his phone) and saw the one-minute phone call. He has had a vasectomy, doesn’t know anyone who works at the office, and I can’t think of any other reason why he would receive such a phone call.

I keep looking for proof positive of extracurricular activities so I can end it. If I admit to snooping and end it, he will bad mouth me around town. Otherwise, he is very good to me, we have a lot of fun together, and I genuinely feel that he loves me. A conversation won’t help because he never admits to anything.  I have had other reasons to doubt him but he finagled his way out.

Without the other evidence, I might chalk it up to a wrong number. On a grander scale, how does one go about proving someone a liar short of hiring a private investigator, which I can’t afford? Without this issue, we are super compatible and would spend the rest of our lives together enjoying the best years of our lives. I am not the type of woman who can look the other way and I don’t want to put my health at risk.

– Puzzled in Poughkeepsie