Can You Explain This Work Crush?
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Q.I started a new job six months ago. Everyone is nice to each other, but ever since my first day, I always lock eyes with this woman who works in the same area. Just in case she reads your site (she likes to read quite a bit), that’s all I’ll say about her and where we work.
When her eyes meet mine, it’s so intense. We always talk and laugh, and she makes me smile every time I see her. I would say we flirt some, but it’s subtle and on a classy level (I am very respectful). She is just so genuine. I can’t get her off my mind. I never thought brown eyes could be so bright. That’s just how I feel.
The issue with this is that I have been in a relationship for years and she is married, and I know it’s wrong of me to feel this way. But the way we interact tells me plain as day that we are both crushing on each other. More than anything, I’m writing this letter to process this for myself, but some speculation about what’s happening from a third party would be some really helpful insight.
– Feelings
A.What’s happening? You’re attracted to a married coworker. It happens. The end.
You don’t have to act on these feelings. You don’t have to amplify them by thinking about them all the time. Please remember that over the life of a long relationship, you’re bound have crushes on other people and vice versa. They don’t have to mean much. You can let them go away.
It’s worth thinking about your real relationship and why you said nothing about it in this letter. This new person in your life has made you feel so romantic. Is it possible to have feelings like that for your partner? You’re asking for speculation, but the only relationship I’m making guesses about is the one you seem so willing to summarize in one sentence.
As you ask yourself questions about your significant other, please remember that you don’t know what this work crush is thinking. What you perceive as flirting might be something far less exciting. She’s your co-worker at a new job. Maintain and respect boundaries.
– Meredith
Readers? Speculate.
Be civil. Be kind.
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