Hey Meredith,

I just graduated from college and moved back home to Boston to start working. I met this guy at school last year and we had an immediate connection and became really close friends. It was obvious to our shared friend group that we were both into each other and we even kissed at parties a few times, but it never went beyond that.

After graduation I moved back here and he moved back to his home state. We were texting and Snapchatting (ha, I know) all summer and it would get really flirty. Then this fall he came up to visit with a few of our friends from school.

Everything went great. While he was here he talked about moving to Boston, how he had started applying to jobs here, and then we ended up kissing again. After he left I realized I really liked him and was so confused because he never made any effort to let me know how he was feeling about our situation.

So a few days later I decided to text him and let him know exactly how I was feeling. (I know I should have called, but I chickened out.) His message was really nice and he said he “thought that I’d felt that way” (what tipped you off? the fact that we kissed?) and that he thought of us as just a “friend kind of thing.” Then he finished up with “it might be different if we lived in the same city.”

We’re still close friends and talk like we always have, but I’m so confused. Is he just trying to be nice and keep our friendship in tact?

– Confused in the Friend Zone