A.

I’m not a historian, nor am I a sociologist or psychologist.

I do read books about the evolution of marriage, and talk to many people about their relationship goals.

I am also not married.

Here’s my running list of reasons why people might not be interested in marriage in 2025:

They see no need because their partner is already their partner, and they can use other legal documents to deal with their finances, healthcare, etc.; divorce is messy, and many young people know that life is long, and it’s hard to commit to forever; marriage involves promises that some can’t make – not everyone is up for sickness and health and prioritizing one partner over all other things; fewer people want kids, and without kids, the contract of marriage might seem less necessary; weddings are expensive and involve a lot of attention, even if you elope; it can be romantic not to get married and know you’re showing up for the person you love every day, even if you don’t have to. 

I could go on.

By the way, I can make a very long list of reasons for someone to get married. I have nothing against the institution of marriage, and I love going to weddings and hearing people explain their connection.

It’s just not for everyone – and not always for people in their 30s. Your son might hit 46 and say, “Oh wait, it’s just easier if we do this at City Hall for paperwork reasons.”

Please remember that the history of marriage is fairly disconnected from what people want now. 

The only concern I have about your son’s situation is his girlfriend, and whether she’s unhappy with the status quo. You say she’s willing to get married. I hope he’s not keeping her from a commitment she wants. 

But that’s on her to stay or go. 

Try to be happy your kid is happy. He doesn’t have to get married to be loved and love in return.

– Meredith