I’ve been married to my husband for 15 years. We are best friends and great parents to two pre-teen daughters. By all accounts we are a happy family, but we are not a good couple. We have never had a good sex life and now we just don’t. We don’t socialize with other couples and we don’t have many of the same interests besides doing things as a family. I know we will eventually get divorced, but we think we should wait until the kids are in high school. We have been to couples counseling on/off for years. This is just not the marriage I want.

Over the past two years, I have had a couple of lovers, all whom my husband knew about, and we talked about it honestly. However, now I have found someone who makes me want to leave because I want to date him openly. We are in love. My husband has not found a lover but he is welcome to do so. My current lover is single and understands my situation and feels there is no need to rush anything. He sees a long-term future with us but understands the complication of having children in this mix. I have met his friends and his mother and I chat once a week. Our close friends and family know what’s going on but our kids do not. We don’t feel we need to tell them anything unless it affects their living situation. However, I am sure my kids have some sense of what is going on. They know that I have dinner with Mr. X and have gone away with him. They don’t press the issue. My question to you is: Do you think it’s better to keep a family together that is basically fine and happy but the parents are not physical with each other? Or do we just suck it up and get divorced and stopping dragging out the inevitable? Are we setting a terrible example of what a marriage is for our children?

– Divorce or Stick it Out?