I have been married to my husband for over three years, and we have a beautiful toddler. I just found out that I am pregnant again. I don’t know what to do because my husband is a mixed bag as a partner. At times I want nothing to do with him, but he can also be loving and charming. He is handsome, smart, loyal (he would never cheat), and is amazing with the kid. But he can also be very mean and aggressive for long stretches of time, especially during stressful periods at work. Sometimes it seems like he wants to punish me or teach me a lesson.

Some examples: We were in Boston on a very busy day. I noticed a group of student demonstrators and told him I wanted to hear what they were chanting, and walked 10 feet toward them. I turned around a few minutes later and he and our son, who was sitting in the stroller, were gone. My bag with my phone was in the stroller’s basket so I had no way to contact my husband. Turns out, he walked to the edge of the scene and watched me panic. Last week, I was making breakfast for my child, and all of a sudden I heard a loud sound. I turned around and saw that my husband had thrown the blanket from our bed on the kitchen floor. He was mad I didn’t make the bed first thing in the morning.

My husband says he wants another child, but he is not doing anything to help me get comfortable with the decision. He says he will support me financially because even though I make a commendable living, my husband’s salary is much larger than mine. He keeps our finances separate not because he is stingy, but because he wants to be in control of everything. We went to therapy for a stint, but it had very little effect on him. I know that once work pressure subsides, he will again become a sweet, loving, and kind partner. But I don’t know when that will happen or how long good times will last. I always wanted two kids, and I want my child to have a sibling, but I don’t know if I can handle having two little ones when my partner is not emotionally supportive and does as he pleases with his time. Despite all this, I am still in love. When things are good, they are pretty good, and when they are bad, it feels very dark. I am exhausted by this roller coaster and his moods. Should I have this baby?

– Exahusted