My spouse keeps getting parking tickets

Thursday | May 2, 2024

Love Letters Marriage

My spouse keeps getting parking tickets

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My spouse works in a city where it is notoriously difficult to find parking. Their employer provides parking in a public garage which is about a 10-minute walk from their office. They are often running late in the morning, so for that reason they frequently park on the street and pay a meter. Though not ideal, I would still be OK if this was necessary from time to time.

However, not only are they rarely, if ever, using the garage to park their car, they also are racking up parking tickets from going overtime at the meter. Again, I could understand if this was an oversight that was happening maybe once a month (if that). However, in the past year I know we have had to pay more than $2,000 in fines, just because of this.

Not only am I annoyed at the totally unnecessary waste of money, I am also angry because our finances are far from impeccable (credit card debt, etc.), and this is causing additional stress to them (and me). I once worked in the same city in the past, and had to strategically move my car around on some days, so I understand the challenge, but I also honestly can’t remember ever getting a ticket.

I have brought up the topic a few times in the past months, when I began to realize how problematic this was becoming, and I either get a “Yeah, I know, I’ll be better,” or a rebuttal about not wanting to hear it.

Aside from my spouse getting a different job with a simpler parking situation (which might be a possibility in the future, but nothing is imminent), I don’t know what is going to make it sink in that they/we can’t keep doing this.

– Paying through the nose

Sometimes when we spend money on the wrong things, it’s because we don’t really understand how money works.

Maybe we missed a lesson about how credit card debt accumulates to become something we wind up paying for decades (sorry, I don’t mean to stress you out). Perhaps we haven’t noticed how memberships to streaming services we don’t even use become a bill we’d never sign up to pay if we were looking closely at all of the numbers. (I’m talking to myself with that one.)

You mention that your finances are “far from impeccable.” My advice is to talk to a financial advisor – with your spouse – to get a big-picture look at what’s going on. Sometimes seeing the numbers, top down, clarifies what expenses are holding you back.

Maybe the one thing that’s stopping you from having a perfect vacation or a calmer life is … $2,000. That might be the information your partner needs to set the alarm for a half-hour earlier.

For the record, I’ve been the person who grabs a Lyft instead of taking the T because I’m running late or can’t deal. In the moment, the expense seems manageable. Worth it (especially in January). But at the end of the year, when it all adds up, the MBTA looks lovely.

Get a better handle on money in general with your spouse, and tiny decisions might feel more monumental – in a good way.

Also, it’s finally May, the season for lovely 10-minute walks (in Boston, at least). I hope that helps, too.

– Meredith

Readers? What’s really happening here? Is there a trivial expense you resent in your marriage? Would you drive your spouse to work? Why not take a an Uber/Lyft from the parking garage instead of getting a ticket at a meter? (Just brainstorming ideas.) Send your own question to the anonymous form or email [email protected].

Money 🖤 Marriage

Featured Comment

“There’s only so much you can do with a personality trait such as chronic tardiness. And you can’t make someone care about something just because it’s important to you. Be aware that this is likely to continue their entire life – late with car payments, late to graduations, etc. Only you can decide if the good outweighs the late.”

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