I really do not like my husband. I dread him coming home from work, I dread when he is off, I dread going to bed at night. We have been together for two decades and have three amazing teen kids. My husband and I do not agree on anything, and we argue in front of the children. Sometimes he has unreasonable expectations of people. He’s constantly pointing out all the things he’s done around the house and tells me how unappreciative I am. He likes to add that there are lots of men out there who do NOTHING around the house and their wives treat them better.

Sex is a huge issue. He wants it all the time, and I do not. He becomes so angry when I don’t initiate sex that he’ll get out of bed and sleep upstairs. He’s a shift worker and has crazy hours, which doesn’t help. He also does not know how to relax – he’s always doing something and makes us feel lazy or like we’re wasting the day if we aren’t busy. (My kids are in sports but it never seems to please him.)

If I try to say anything at all, it turns into a huge fight. He is a very attractive man and has a lot of good qualities, but I am not attracted to him. I’ve tried to tell him in every way I can, but he does not listen (which is another thing I can’t stand). He talks ALL THE TIME!!! It’s constant. He interrupts people when they’re talking.

I don’t want a divorce because I don’t want to ruin my kids. Every time I bring it up he ends up apologizing, saying how much he loves me and the kids, and that he’s not giving up on us. No one would ever know that there are problems. We appear to be the perfect little family of five.

How can I deal with this?

– Unhappy