I’m Worried He’ll Get Boring

Wednesday | March 9, 2016

Love Letters Marriage

I’m Worried He’ll Get Boring

No chat today. Sorry. Out of the office. There will be a chat next week.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost four years. The only problem I have are those “what-ifs” – the question of what’s going to happen when I’m 30 and he is 45. At the moment, I an 24 and he is 39. We have the same mutual friends who accept our age difference. Our families love us as a couple. I guess the rant is about being scared that 15 years down the line, he may be “boring.” We have a 2-year-old son who keeps us both on our toes. His daughter is 21. I’m more of an old spirit, so we don’t go out to clubs, but we do spend a lot of time talking to each other. He wants to get married, but my question is: How do I get rid of the what-ifs in my own brain? Because no one else has a negative take on it but me and my brain. Would love some input or just a response.

– Me and my brain

Are you worried that you’ll be bored of each other in six years? Or are you worried that he’ll be boring in six years?

If it’s the first question, please know that every long-term couple, no matter the age difference, must deal with ups and downs and relationships changes. You might hit a rut or two, but you’ll continue to face new challenges and excitement, especially with a kid. There’s nothing boring about that.

If you’re really worried about that second question, please, just stop. Because it’s ridiculous. Most of the time, people get more interesting as they get older. I know that at 38, I am way more fascinating than I was at 24. (I think I was pretty annoying at 24.) And I bet you have a lot more to say at 24 than you did at 18.

It sounds like some of this anxiety has to do with your boyfriend’s need to get married sooner than later. If that’s what’s driving you crazy, let him know you’d rather wait. Tell him you love him, but that the urgency messes with your head.

– Meredith

Readers? Do you turn boring at 45?

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Featured Comment

If you are concerned that the age difference will matter more in the future. Talk to him. But more importantly, work together to ensure that your relationship stays strong as you both grow and evolve regardless of the age difference. Who’s to say you won’t be the one who gets boring? (Honestly sometimes adulthood can be boring, it’s up to you to bring some excitement to it!)

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