When someone asks about sparks in a long relationship – or, as you put it, how to love up and get loved up in return – I usually suggest romance novels, because they are packed with ideas.

These stories can put the reader in a mood, and encourage them to see possibilities for romance everywhere. 

I know you’re not the problem here, but read some good novels anyway. They might help you consider new settings for love, moves to make, and things to try.

I moderated a book event earlier this week for a former Wellesley resident who wrote a romance novel set at on a pickleball court (which is why pickleball has been on my mind a lot). The novel, “All’s Fair in Love and Pickleball” includes sexual situations – in a great way!

My other piece of advice: get a new bed or couch. It can be expensive, I know. But there’s something about comfort – and feeling decadent – that can inspire a person to use a mattress. My thought is that if you have cushions that make you feel like you’re lounging on vacation, the mood will change.

At the very least, find some excellent, soft bedding. It might open up a whole new world.