Hi Meredith,

My problem is holiday themed. The issue is that my husband won’t stay over my mom’s on holidays.

The background is that we were married last year and have been together for about a decade. We generally have a great relationship and are both very family oriented. Our parents live in the same town, so when it comes time for the holidays we usually come together the day of the holiday and go back to our respective parents’ homes for most of the evenings. We have made a tradition that I stay over his parents’ house for Christmas night and we stay with them many weekends over the summer. He, however, has never stayed over at my mom’s. Thanksgiving is my family’s big holiday, so for the past few years I have asked him to stay, and each time he claims he is too allergic to my mom’s pets. Although this is never a problem when he wants to sleep at his sibling’s house who has pets — that he also used to live with.

My mom and husband get along really well, so I don’t think that is the issue. My mom refers to him as her third child and he seems generally amused by her antics. Also, something to note is that my mom is widowed and is alone a lot of the time, so I feel strongly about being at her house over the holidays. His parents are happily married with other children and grandkids around consistently.

I have tried talking to him about this multiple times and it was much easier to let slide before we were married — but now that we are, I would really like to wake up Christmas morning with him there. I don’t like feeling like I have to pick between them.

How can I convince him to just take an allergy pill and stay over? Am I being overly dramatic about this?

– Home for the Holidays, Boston