You don’t have to forget this guy to have a “truer relationship” with your husband. But you do need to call him what he is – a man from your past with whom you share nothing but history. He’s a character from another era, not a friend you should be sharing messages with all day. He reached out and you responded, but now you can move on.

Over the past six months, we’ve seen that exes have reached out during this pandemic for so may reasons. 1. They’re remembering easier times and want to talk to a person who represents the past. 2. They’re super bored and stuck in the house. 3. They’ve had time to sit with memories of their past behavior and now seek forgiveness. 4. They want to express gratitude to people who’ve contributed to their personal history. 5. They’ve decided they’re ready to leave their current relationship and are seeking out other options. 6. They want to check in on people who are meaningful to them, to make sure those people are safe. The list goes on and on.

Personally, I love a #4. Yours could be a little #4 with a big dose of #1 and #2. But boredom is where things get dicey and can ruin all of the nice parts of #4 and maybe even lead to #5.

If you’ve had your nice moment of nostalgia with this ex, stop the messages. Spend time on the man you chose, a.k.a. your husband.

Also, for those thinking about reaching out to an ex, please remember the chart. It was built for how many of us felt in March and April, but much of it still applies.

– Meredith

Readers? How can you enjoy the memory of an ex without it becoming dangerous to your current relationship?