My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To End Up Like Brangelina

Thursday | November 3, 2016

Love Letters Marriage

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To End Up Like Brangelina

I have been with my boyfriend for about three years. He is perfect – the best boyfriend I have ever had. The problem is that he is talking about moving in together and I really do not want to live with a guy in the same house unless I’m married.

He has told me that people should not marry because it seems that when they do, they start quarreling. Lately, after Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt announced they were divorcing, my boyfriend started to say, “See what I am talking about? They lived together for over 10 years unmarried and they are divorcing after only two years of marriage!”

It seems to me this guy just wants sex and no commitment, and personally I just don’t like guys like that. I’m asking you for a very nice and caring way to leave this guy. If I don’t leave him, I will be a girlfriend for the rest of my life.

– The Girlfriend

Your boyfriend isn’t in this for sex only. He’s been with you for three years and wants to share a home with you. Please don’t mistake his disinterest in marriage with a disrespect for commitment. One has nothing to do with the other. Lots of people stay committed forever without signing documents or having a ceremony.

Instead of planning your exit, talk about compromises. If you lived together for a year and it worked, would he consider marriage? How will he feel about binding your lives in other ways (children, property, medical things, etc.)? It could be that you share more philosophies about commitment than you think. If he wants to be with you, there should be a way to meet in the middle. See how far you can get before you decide to walk out the door.

You can let him know during this conversation that celebrity marriages don’t teach us anything. I mean, I have no idea why Brad and Angelina broke up, and unless your boyfriend is their secret best friend, he doesn’t either. I also don’t know why Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon broke up, and they never got married. Try to keep the conversation with your boyfriend focused on the one couple you really know.

– Meredith

Readers? Does the Pitt-Jolie divorce teach us anything? Should she leave?

Living Together Marriage

Featured Comment

Be straight forward with how strong you feel about marriage and that it’s a deal breaker for you to not have it. Have this serious discussion at least to have him confirm his certainty that he doesn’t believe in marriage no matter how far in the future he looks. Marriage is definitely not for everyone for hundreds of reasons.

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