“What other people consider acceptable” covers a lot of territory!

Some people are in open relationships where they not only fantasize about others, but have intimate physical relationships with them. They manage to do this while remaining madly in love – and committed to – their primary partners.

Conversely, many letter writers have told us they’re with people who don’t want them to have friendships.

Humans are all over the map on what counts as a betrayal.

I can’t tell you what boundaries are right for you or when you should be shocked, but I will say that our brains are capable of so much. Personally, I can be thinking about fictional vampires played by attractive actors, a real person I love, and my to-do list and obligations all at the same time. Sometimes one thought flies around my brain while I should be focused on something else.

Of course people fantasize about others while they’re with someone they care about. But sometimes they think wild thoughts about the person they’ve loved for 30 years, even when they’re all alone and could be thinking about anything else.

If you can compartmentalize and always focus on what’s in front of you, that’s great. But if others can’t, that doesn’t mean they’re not committed. 

Your husband gets up every day and chooses you. That’s what you asked for, isn’t it? 

– Meredith

Readers? Talk about fantasies.