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Love Letters: The Top 10 of 2024
My favorite is No. 6.
It was a dramatic year in Love Letters.
People had affairs. Some wished they’d had affairs.
There were missed connections and broken connections. There was boredom, sadness, fatigue, and, just when I was losing hope, some pure joy.
Here are the Top 10 letters of 2024, based on how many people read the letter. It’s a metric that doesn’t always mean a lot — sometimes a letter goes more viral because the headline is spicy, not because it’s a relatable topic.
Still, I think the most popular letters say something about where we are as humans. Last year, the most popular letter was about a husband not sharing his money. This year, all of the Top 3 letters have to do with marriage.
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There’s also a good one in there about health care. (No. 6 was one of my favorites of the year for reasons I’ll explain.)
In descending order, the most popular letters:
10. “Trying to get excited about an alternative to marriage?,” Feb. 28
This letter included a New Yorker writer, apathy toward marriage, and a lot of negative feelings about why weddings are important to so many people. The letter writer said, “It’s like I want to counteract the wedding hysteria. Why was no one that excited for me a few weeks ago when I landed an amazing new job?” I told this writer to have a house-warming party instead of a wedding. Worth noting: The Globe started a new weddings column this year. It’s called The Big Day. Feel free to have all the wedding hysteria you like at BostonGlobe.com/TheBigDay.
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9. “I’m married to two people,” July 17
A lot of people thought this letter was fake. Is it even possible to get married twice? With real paperwork? Unclear! All I know is that a lot of people read this one, probably because chaos is interesting. If you’re the letter writer, please reach out with an update.
8. “Three dates with a Trump supporter,” May 31
This letter writer was looking for permission to continue to date a Trump supporter, even though she is very anti-Trump. She was having a nice-ish time with this man but said, “As a Democrat, and to be honest, more importantly as a citizen of the world, I can’t understand, with all we know now, how you can still support this man.” I told her there was no future in this relationship. I also said her letter was actually about dating fatigue. She was sick of looking, and wanted permission to stop. I couldn’t give her that — at least not based on her priorities and values.
7. “Saw my friend’s wife on an app,” April 4
If this were you, would you tell your friend? Or stay out of it? I think it all depends on the nature of the friendship. That’s what I asked the letter writer to consider.
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6. “I want my boyfriend to go back to the doctor,” Feb 14
This might be my favorite letter of the year. Why? I’m an anxious person who wants my loved ones to go to the doctor all the time. Sometimes I ignore my own health problems because I’m so worried about the blood pressure of the people I care about. This letter writer — who was desperate for her boyfriend to take care of himself — helped me remember that I can’t pressure people to appease my concerns for them. I can’t make my loved ones get a zillion colonoscopies, even if I want to. Adults are adults.
5. “Our age difference has caught up to us,” June 28
A letter writer’s younger boyfriend was pulling away. She was scrambling to preserve her youth to keep him. Meanwhile, I wondered if she might be better off without him. I said, “Your gut is telling you this relationship isn’t something you can maintain. I’m telling you there’s more than this relationship.” We’re allowed to get old — and to look our age! Worth noting: this letter ran on my 47th birthday.
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4. “Should I tell my friend I’m in love with him?,” Jan. 29
In this case, the answer was no.
3. “I feel a deep connection outside of my marriage,” Jan. 2
This letter writer met a new man and felt magic. “I trust my intuition, and it screams that I should NOT let this man go completely and forever.” I told this person to look inward. Because nothing is really “meant to be.” If you feel like the universe is telling you to have an affair, maybe you shouldn’t be married.
2. “I was blindsided by the marriage proposal,” Jan. 11
At least this unexpected marriage proposal didn’t happen in front of tens of thousands of people at Fenway Park.
1. “How do I tell my husband the marriage is over?,” Jan. 12
I told this writer that couples counseling can be a place where instead of figuring out how to stay, you learn how to leave. Sometimes a third-party professional can help us say a loving, respectful goodbye.
As you can see, it was quite a year. The big lesson is that when you share your own problem (anonymously), you help others who feel alone as they consider the same issue. Send us a letter about your own issues — to [email protected] or fill out this form.
Also: The new season of our podcast — featuring real people’s stories about relationships — starts Jan. 14. This season, we take you to clown school in New York, the Broad Institute’s brain department in Cambridge, the pool in Palm Springs, and under the Tuscan sun. Find it wherever you get podcasts. [Listen on Apple | Listen on Spotify].
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