I Want My Ex-husband Back

Tuesday | December 6, 2016

Love Letters Divorce

I Want My Ex-husband Back

My husband and I divorced two years ago. We were going through a difficult time and hit a wall.

We should have gone to counseling. We should have fought harder for the relationship. Hindsight is 20/20.

We have two kids who are teens. The four of us spend time together and go to dinner often. We communicate and work well together for our kids. Since the divorce, we get along so much better. We have even been intimate for over a year. I look forward to seeing him and want to work on moving forward in our relationship, but he is holding back.

He dates one woman off and on. It’s heartbreaking when he spends time with her. He says he’s not ready to move forward with me but says “never say never.” I feel like he is stringing me along. I can’t just walk away; we have to work together for our kids. I also don’t feel ready to move on and date other men. I really want my family back. What do I do? How do I move on if that’s what I need to do?

– A second chance

I know you want to stay close to your ex, but he is stringing you along right now. It’s time to set some boundaries for the relationship. No more sex. No more pretending that you’re a couple if you’re not. No more sending messages and sharing moments that don’t have anything to do with the kids.

Tell your ex that you’re happy to co-parent, but that you can’t play house if it’s not real. The ambiguity is breaking your heart, and if he’s going to date other people, you have to start moving on with your life.

It’s possible that he’ll want to be with you someday, but right now, it doesn’t matter. He’s asking for more than you can give, and “never say never” isn’t a commitment.

You don’t have to date other men right this second, but you should take some time to think about what you want in a partner. Also, stay busy. Reconnect with friends, hang out with the kids by yourself, and do your best to remember that your life is full, with or without your ex-husband.

Whenever you find yourself communicating with your ex, ask yourself, “Is this really about the children?” If not, stop. That’s what’s best for everyone.

– Meredith

Readers? Second chance?

Family 🖤 Divorce

Featured Comment

You want your family back? You’ve got your family. What is it you want to get back to exactly? The fighting? You two are probably having more sex now than you did while you were married. You actually have close to the perfect relationship here.

harrystruman Share Thoughts