Depends on you, depends on the divorce.

My friend’s divorce took forever because her ex – who initiated the divorce! – was terrible about getting the paperwork done.

I have a relative whose divorce might have taken some extra months because the breakup was so amicable. No one felt rushed.

What’s happening in your boyfriend’s case? Sounds like his ex is the problem. Only you can decide if that’s OK to be around.

I hope you’ve learned a lot about how your boyfriend deals with conflict and complicated conversations. If he’s been transparent and thoughtful with you about this process, and has made you feel loved along the way, does it matter if the divorce takes another six months? 

I will say: I have a lot of room in my heart for people who are dating while going through the longest divorce ever. Back when I was a kid (puts on old lady glasses), my mom’s divorce took forever because Maryland, from my memory, required a period of separation. By the time the separation was over in the court’s eyes, my parents’ marriage had been over for at least twice as long. It was the courts that made it take more than a year. Everybody’s parents were probably out there dating and divorcing at the same time.

If your boyfriend’s ongoing divorce is making it difficult for you to think about the future, or if you feel he’s not as invested in your relationship as you’d like him to be, talk about that. But if this is about the paperwork and the fact that it isn’t done, know that it’s just paper. If the relationship is over, everything gets signed eventually.

– Meredith

Readers? How many of you have dated someone through a long divorce? Did it bother you?

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