Should I hire an escort?

Friday | November 15, 2024

Love Letters Divorce

Should I hire an escort?

I am a recently divorced male in my later 40s. It has been a sad divorce for me, something I didn’t really want. I have a therapist and am working through it as best as I can. I miss companionship and some form of intimacy that my marriage provided (among many other things).

However, I am not ready to date. I know that I would not be fully available for someone new. I have been thinking about using an escort. It’s not something I want to do regularly – meaning I am not looking to be a regular – but I think it would be helpful to have an intimate experience with literally no strings attached. Basically, it is a transactional relationship that fills a need.

I have been doing a little research on the topic and find it is actually a little overwhelming since it is not something I have ever done before or even really considered. I think I found someone with whom I’d like to arrange a date and I am naturally a little nervous, though I read this is normal for a person new to the experience.

My initial nerves aside, I am writing to get some general advice, pros and cons, shared experiences, or anything really on using an escort to kind of bridge the gap between needing female companionship and being ready to date.

– Is it Worth it?

You’re saying “escort,” but I believe you want someone who does sex work, specifically. I want to point that out because there’s a difference.

Regardless, please know that several apps are designed to pair people who are looking for a very casual encounter.

The experience might feel less controlled, but that’s OK. Honestly, if you get on an app and tell someone that you’re looking for intimacy after a divorce – an encounter that won’t lead to dates and a relationship – you might find some takers.

There are many others looking for the same thing. There are people in open marriages who will 100 percent not be looking for commitment. There could be a few cool people in town for a business trip who would love to see you whenever they’re around, but only when they’re local.

Exhausted singles looking for serious relationships might tell you that apps are more designed for someone like you than anyone else.

This route would take a lot of questions off the table. It might add a few, but … I do fear you’re investigating/researching escorts to postpone having to think about being a nervous, vulnerable person in the world. You can’t put that off forever.

– Meredith

Readers? Have you looked for a kind, thoughtful, casual encounter on an app and had success? Other ideas? Thoughts on the question?

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