I happen to be working on a podcast episode and story about so-called third wheels, and how wonderful it can be for a single person to hang out with a bunch of couples.

Third wheeling gets a bad rap for no good reason. I happen to believe in “the more the merrier,” and that a single person can turn a bunch of pairs into a real group.

I’ve realized through interviews, though, that the people who have trouble with this concept are often … the couples. For whatever reason, many of them assume a single person will feel ashamed or lonely if they’re the fifth or seventh person at an event. Meanwhile, the single person might not feel that way at all (depending on the company).

I see no reason why a vacation plan for four can’t turn into a group outing for five.

I do wonder why you say it’s “awkward” when spouses are present. Is that something you feel – or something you assume?

Please know: not everyone can be invited to everything. No matter what, you’ll be left off the guest list sometimes. But I do think you can say to your friends, “No pressure at all, but if you ever take a vacation you think I might like – one where my presence would improve the experience – I am not opposed to hanging out with a bunch of couples. I don’t mind being a fifth wheel, and when I get sick of it, I am happy to entertain myself for an afternoon. I just want to have fun, and I enjoy your company.” (Assuming that’s true.)

These friends might not know you want to be included. It can be difficult to read an introvert.

It helps to share.

– Meredith

Readers? Are you coupled? If so, do you invite single friends on outings and vacations? If not, why?