About six weeks ago I met and began dating a very sweet, intelligent, and humble man. He is divorced and has children with his ex-wife. I have been separated for over a year, am about to be divorced, and have two children. Aside from a short fling at the end of the summer, this is the only relationship I have entered into since my 20-plus year relationship with my soon-to-be ex dissolved.

It was clear right away that we had a connection. We both felt it, and he was the first to mention it during our first date. We slept together on the second date and had a conversation about how our connection put us ahead of the game because we were already friends. I felt an emotional closeness with him that I have never felt with anyone else. We agreed to be “real” with each other. Our brief time together (four dates total) was fun and passionate, but very rushed and limited due to both of our schedules (my parenting schedule and both of our work schedules). We spent most of our time in bed, and a much smaller fraction of our time talking, which I now regret.

Last week he ended things (gently, and with a lot of compliments toward me), and said that he needed time to think about things and solve some issues related to some pressure he is feeling from his ex-wife (financial and emotional). It is clear that he is also bogged down with his workload. He plans to go abroad for a year for a sabbatical, which was another monkey wrench we would have soon encountered.

I was very understanding and told him that I hope things ease up for him. I told him I really want him to be happy, which is absolutely true. I also told him that I plan to take a break from dating because I doubt I will meet someone like him. I am heartbroken, and I realized I wasn’t OK with him not knowing more of who I am. I wrote him a letter explaining why I was divorcing my husband and about things I had learned from that experience. (I figured that providing details about the biggest decision of my life would tell him a lot about me.) I also asked if we could continue to be friends.

Was it a mistake to write that letter? Is there a chance we can be friends? My mind is telling me to just let this go, but I am having a very hard time with the “everything to nothing” extremes of this short but intense experience.

– Intense Experience