I’m a 60-year-old man who is in great health, has a great career, and is honest and down to earth. I’m not what you would expect of a 60-year-old; I have the vitality and energy of a man much younger, and people generally see me as 10 years younger. I have lots of confidence and am comfortable in my own skin. I’ve been on and off dating sites for the past six years, and I find the whole process frustrating.

I have an average build and am in good shape; average looking but consider myself a good catch. I admit that I shy away from women who are at the helm of a sailboat or holding up a cocktail in every picture; they are probably not a match because I am not wealthy and not a party kind of guy. What I don’t understand is why women post profiles asking for all of the qualities I think I possess, but replies come back, “thanks but we are not a match.”

No one expects it to be easy, but what does it take for someone to show interest when you match what they are looking for? Is it strictly about looks? One thing I have noticed is that so many women mention in their profiles that they do not want to “settle,” which I find offensive. I have also reversed search to see the competition, and most men are “average build,” whereas most of the women are “athletic and toned.” I think I stack up pretty well, even with men younger than I am. Women seem to be into every possible outdoor activity from kayaking to bungee jumping to skydiving to scuba. Men seem to be looking for simpler women.

I guess I don’t understand why it’s so difficult, and is it me or are women’s expectations unrealistic? Or is it that they are just picky or perhaps not really looking for a relationship? Over the past six years I have met two or three women online and they were really down to earth and especially nice. Why is it so difficult? Any thoughts or suggestions?

– Frustrated