A.My sister has a thing where she’d rather take turns paying checks than splitting them. She told me that long ago, and it’s really nice to have dinner with her. Like … we’re never going to go to any one place that’s a lot more expensive than the next. Everything winds up being about equal when we take turns. I like that system for dates too, assuming two people get past the first outing.
If you like it that way too, let this man know. You’re not saying you don’t want to pay; you’d simply prefer to treat each other. It can be more of a “this is what makes me happy” than “you’re doing it wrong.”
You also might want to have this conversation when you’re not at dinner. Maybe the information would be better received after you’ve left a restaurant. Like, “Oh, here’s why I paid.”
Venmo has changed this process for a lot of people. I used to take a friend to lunch and feel nice about it, but now their portion often shows up in my Venmo, which I suppose makes life easier and more fair. Less fun, though. But that kind of app is another way around this, if he really likes to split a check. At the very least, you wouldn’t be putting two cards on the table.
But something tells me you won’t have to resort to that kind of transaction if you’re honest. I know you don’t want to rock this very excellent boat, but this is a simple statement about what you like. It’s not so different than “I prefer windows in the car to air conditioning.” It’s a conversation, not a criticism.
– Meredith
Readers? How/when would you bring this up? How do you handle the bill?
Be civil. Be kind.
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