I love that we live in a world that validates self-improvement and growth. These days, there are a zillion apps for self-care. People can take pride in sharing how they prioritize mental health, how they set goals, how they work to be better.

But I don’t love the idea that some people feel they have to “win” at self-improvement to deserve another person’s romantic company. Yes, there are absolutely times where a person should stay single because they are in no way equipped to be a good partner. But that’s not the situation you’re in. You want to support a nice person, even if they’re a work in progress themselves. In turn, you want to be loved. That means you’re ready for a relationship. This idea that you have to be your best, most amazing self before you meet someone … it’s just not realistic or fair.

You’re not alone in thinking this way, just so you know. I think a lot about “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (sorry people, stay with me … I swear I’m going somewhere with this), and the finale where she tells Angel she’s not ready to be with him because she’s still “cookie dough.” She says she’s not in a place to consider commitment because she’s not finished baking. That idea makes sense for Buffy as a character because she’s very young, but … sometimes I think we’re all cookie dough. There’s no real finish for any of us. We just get to a place where we’re ready for company.

Anyway, the point is, there’s no siren that goes off when you become a perfect polished person. It’s a never-ending process, so you just have to learn, try, and do your best.

– Meredith

Readers? Are you cookie dough? I am, both in diet and emotional state.