Why was I BCC'd on this email ... asking me out?

Tuesday | July 8, 2025

Love Letters Dating

Why was I BCC’d on this email … asking me out?

Looking for letters about friendship, breakups, falling in love, exes on Instagram, dating, love, loss, crushes, marriage, etc. Submit your letter by using the anonymous form, or email [email protected].

A former coworker of mine asked me out via email on their last day in the office. I’ve always had a thing for them, but because we worked together, I never acted on it. I was excited at the thought of going on a date, and I showed a friend the email. That’s when my feelings changed.

My friend pointed out that I was BCC’d. My heart sank as I realized the email must have gone out to multiple other women at the same time. It seems like they were hedging their bets for a date.

Should I still go on the date and confront them? Would I ever be able to find out who else received the email?

– Anonymous

It’s possible the person BCC’d just you. (Not likely, but maybe.)

It’s also possible that 10 people got that email.

Regardless, if you want to date this former coworker, why not follow up? You can ask them the most basic question: “Can you tell me why I was BCC’d?” Maybe there’s a good (or interesting) reason.

Instead of filling in the gaps of this story, see what’s what. Maybe they won’t even respond, which would give you some closure.

The thing is, if I were leaving an office and wanted to see who wanted to date me, I’d send separate emails, just to make each one seem personal. One big BCC email seems like it would lead to unnecessary mess (and questions – like yours!). What’s the incentive to do it this way?

Maybe this person loves emotional chaos. But you’ve liked them for a reason, right? Does this match what you know about them?

I’m all for getting answers, to the extent you can. Ask and confront (calmly). If something sounds fishy, you can drop the whole thing.

And if you don’t mind chaos, you could ask around to see if anyone else got this message. But I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s the office, after all.

– Meredith

Readers? I need IT people to help. Also, any reasons this might have come in as a BCC situation? Who would be able to decode who else got this email?

What’s on your mind about friendship, breakups, love, exes, dating, love, loss, crushes, marriage, etc.? Submit your letter by using the anonymous form, or email [email protected].

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Featured Comment

Since you already were interested, it might be worth a reply and see how things go without getting your hopes up too much. Are you sure there’s really romantic interest or was it just “I’d like to stay in touch so maybe we can hang out sometime.” That might explain why he might have sent it to multiple people. You can tell more once there’s more communication and meeting in person.

LegallyLiz2017 Share Thoughts