I’m a 27-year-old straight-ish woman living in an East Coast college town. I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve dated some people, one person for almost six months, but we were never official due to the situation having a definitive end date.

I have lots of friends. I think I’m pretty good-looking, I’m definitely smart, definitely funny. I can be kind of sarcastic, and I’m pretty tall, which makes things a little tricky. I get approached by men in public sometimes, but much less often than my friends. I’m relatively confident, though, and I like myself.

I’ve done all the things – apps, trying new social and volunteer groups, going to bars alone, going to bars with friends, going to museums alone or with friends, the whole deal. I go to therapy. I have a really cute and friendly dog. I have a very full, happy life that isn’t centered around finding a partner, even though I date. I think anyone who knew me would be surprised I’m writing this email. I’m not desperate for a man, any man. I’m just a little lonely.

I know the answer is just to keep investing in myself, to give myself a full life that makes me happy, and to keep putting myself out there. But it sucks. I want a boyfriend. Doesn’t have to be my forever partner. Just a real relationship. I probably have a little bit of an avoidant attachment style, but I swear I’m friendly and fun to hang out with – and people around me validate that.

I guess the question is, is there anything I might be missing? I know you can’t see my whole life, but in your experience, is there a piece of the puzzle people commonly miss? Or is that piece just luck and timing?

– Real Relationship