I met this guy online just before lockdown. We had plans to meet each other a few weeks after we starting chatting, but unfortunately we did not make it. We thought lockdown might last a month, so we kept in contact with each other every day and it was fun and great. Until lockdown was extended – and things started looking bleak.

I started asking myself, “Are we going to remain in contact like this every day forever and develop feelings for each other before meeting?” We discussed this and we painfully agreed to reduce our contact to email. We decided to give each other space, not put all eggs in one basket, and leave it to faith. We also agreed that if we met someone else, we would make it clear to each other.

A week after making this decision – and of writing very, very long emails to each other – I received one out of the blue that said we are a mismatch, there is something missing, and all of this this has to end. I was shocked.

I called him and he was extremely cold and said he was sorry, he respected me, but he cannot control his feelings. He asked me not to contact him, but he sounded confused. I was calm but very teary, and when I asked him whether it was another girl, he said no. I asked him if I said anything that put him off, and then … silence. Then I asked him what he wants and he responded with more silence. Finally I asked him whether there is anything I should learn from this experience and do better if I meet someone else … more silence. I said I was trying to understand what happened, and he became defensive and angry, telling me to stop trying to psychoanalyze him. I said OK and he hung up. It’s been a week and there has been no contact. What a shame. I would love to meet this man in person and understand what went wrong. Is it possible he needed space and could also not see this through a pandemic? What can I do? He surely can’t judge me when he’s never met me.

– Mismatched