Hi Meredith,

My partner and I are in our early 30s, have been together for nearly four years, and have lived together for three. Everything is awesome – we’re very much in love, get along very well, rarely fight, laugh all the time, have the same interests (but separate hobbies), and we’re respectful of each other’s needs, desires, and time.

Last week he informed me that he is receiving a huge promotion, which will require him to move overseas or elsewhere in the US. Whereas I am very excited for him and this amazing opportunity for his career, I’m not too sure where this leaves us.

His parents recently divorced, and things got very ugly toward the end; and his previous five-year relationship ended with infidelity, which broke his heart. Both of these unfortunate circumstances affected him deeply and have pushed him away from formal commitment. I’ve been very respectful of this and haven’t pushed any form of solid commitment, allowing our relationship to evolve organically.

I’m really happy with where we are at now and fear pushing him away with bringing up the “where does this leave us” talk or the “marriage” talk. How do I go about bringing it up sensitively without it being awkward or pushing him away? I don’t need to get married, but would like some form of security with a solid commitment. (Is there such a thing?)

I should mention I can work remotely so a move wouldn’t have a huge effect on my career.

– Will You Be My Life Partner?