There’s no one answer to this. Sometimes friends and family are desperate for their grieving loved one to fall for someone new. Other times there’s a loyalty for the past that gets in the way of accepting change.

One thing I do know is that people are smart. They can tell when someone close to them is keeping secrets. If they truly know you – and this friend – they might sense vibes.

That’s why my vote is to talk about it sooner than later. You don’t have to say it’s serious – because what does that even mean? That you’re getting married again? That your life will change forever? 

All they need to know is that you’re trying something new and figuring it out, and that you hope they can support you along the way. If you wait six months, it might be jarring for them to hear that you’ve been with someone for a very long time. 

Or do you intend to lie to them about how long you’ve been seeing this friend?

The two of you don’t owe anybody anything, but honesty makes things easier. If you tell your community you’re exploring a relationship and will let them know if there’s news, they can get used to the idea.

Please know that some people might not like it. Give them time to get process. “I’d love to give you time to adjust. I know it’s complicated. It’s complicated for me, too.” Have empathy.

I mean, in the end, go with your gut, but the longer you wait, the weirder it might be.

– Meredith

Readers? Are these two entitled to some secret privacy for a bit? Is it easier to share now? Is the answer different because they share a group of some kind?