I’m 26 and I’ve known this guy for almost seven years. We were friends for a long time, and then one night about four years ago, we crossed into more-than-friends territory. I thought it was going somewhere but he did not. He ended up cutting off all communication with me for over a year. During that time, I moved across the country to start graduate school.

After a couple of months, I went back to the city I had moved from to visit some friends. We went to an old college bar, and he walked right in and sat across from me. He said hi and acted like we’d just seen each other. I was baffled. At that point I’m a few drinks in and have no filter. I immediately confront him and tell him how much it hurt me that he cut off communication. He apologized and said he had no idea how much it had affected me. I forgave him.

The rest of the night went smoothly, and I even ended up spending the night with him but nothing happened. He dropped me off the next day, and from then on we’ve been in contact every day for three years. I’ve visited him, he’s visited me. During the last visit, I asked whether we’re dating and he said we are not. He doesn’t want to date unless we live in the same city. That’s totally understandable, as I’ve gone through long-distance one time too many. I’m coming toward the end of my degree and he is looking for a new job. He means so much to me and makes me happy, but I can’t justify only looking for jobs in his city. Also, he wants to move out west. I just need some advice about where to go from here. Or do I need to wait and find out where we both get jobs before I can decide where this could be going? Is this relationship worth pursuing?

– We’re dating, but we’re not