We See Each Other Less Than We Used To

Wednesday | April 6, 2016

Love Letters Dating

We See Each Other Less Than We Used To

I have been with this gentleman for nine months. We initially spent every weekend together and sometimes a night during the week. Our communication was perfect. From the beginning, it was an as-we-go relationship; he wasn’t sure what he wanted day by day.

Fast forward six months and he has made it clear that he doesn’t know what he wants, still. We now see each other probably once a weekend, and lately we have even skipped some weekends. He has recently taken a new job and has extremely big family obligations. The communication has died down to about every other day but is always positive and upbeat. He does initiate contact and still makes plans with me. It just seems he has taken a slight step back. Do I give him space or do I walk?

– What is happening?

You wrote a lot about what this gentleman may or may not want, but you didn’t tell us what you want and why. Are you hoping for a more serious relationship with this man because things are wonderful when he’s around? Or is it that you’re ready for a big commitment and want something to come out of the past nine months? Do some big thinking about your intentions and whether this guy has ever been a person who can meet your needs.

If you do see potential and just want to know whether he needs space or a real step back, think about whether you’re getting closer. You might not be spending as much time together, but is that time more intimate? Are you getting to know him better? Is he involving you in his life and is he more interested in yours? If not, and this relationship is at a standstill, you should probably move on. Because it’s clear you’re looking for more.

– Meredith

Readers? Does it matter that he doesn’t know what he wants? Is it OK that they spend less time together?

Dating

Featured Comment

At this stage in his life this may be all he can handle or what he wants. You really need to ask for what you want. You may not like his response, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

? TheNurse Share Thoughts