I dated a guy – the one that got away – more than five years ago. We had only been dating a month or so when I found out I was pregnant by my ex before him. Obviously, we ended things. I was so in love with him already, but we couldn’t stay together.

Then, almost four years ago, one of my parents died. The night of the funeral, I ended up hanging out with the one that got away, and he was so awesome through it. We dated again for a bit, but this time he wasn’t really invested. We ended up calling it quits again.

Fast forward three years and I’ve been in a relationship for three years and have a second child. My relationship was great in the beginning, but definitely has had its ups and downs. We’re on the brink of breaking up. He has been abusive, and one specific threatening incident put me over the edge. He has begged for me to make it work but I’m not 100 percent in – partly because of the one that got away.

“The one” has always randomly messaged to check on me. He had a girlfriend for a couple of years but still managed to reach out during that time. He told me they had broken up, but I was still happy enough in my relationship at the time. Now that my current boyfriend and I have come to where we are now, this other guy and I have had constant contact. I had even seen him and hung out a couple of times. He confessed his love for me and how he doesn’t care that have two kids. He said he has always loved me, and tells me about his hopes and dreams for us.

My current boyfriend knows I started talking to someone else, but says we should work this out for our family. He has helped raise my first child, as well as the one we share. It’s hard because he isn’t a bad guy. He can be great. But the relationship isn’t good for me, and I can’t stop thinking about the one who got away. It’s not fair to my current boyfriend. The other guy is in my heart and head. I would never want to leave one person for another though. What do I do?

– The One