What’s your love and relationship problem?
Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.
I’ve been with my girlfriend for six months. We have a great relationship and I trust her. She’s an amazing woman.
I was at her place alone, and was on her computer sending out some emails, and then got a little nosy and wanted to see some of her old pictures. I found one video from months and months before we met. She was at a bachelorette party, not doing anything X-rated, but maybe some R-rated behavior, dancing with some strippers in a strip club. Other than that, nothing else. I don’t know why, but it’s bothering me. Maybe I’m Just being insecure. She was single. It just doesn’t seem like her.
– Insecure
Don’t snoop. That’s the first lesson here. Having access to someone’s computer to check your email doesn’t mean you have permission to go through their stuff. (I know you know this, but you need a reminder).
As for your feelings about the video, maybe you’re realizing that at six months, you don’t know everything about your girlfriend. She had a life before you, and she’s different with her friends. That’s the best news, because if you knew everything about your girlfriend at six months, the rest of your relationship would be pretty uneventful. You should be excited that when it comes to this “amazing” woman you trust, there’s so much more to know. Don’t confuse curiosity with discomfort.
– Meredith
Readers? Why is this letter writer upset?
Everything she did and was has made her the person she is now, so if you really don’t begrudge her this (which you do, so start there) then you need to accept her past as much as you accept how AMAZING she is now.
Honey-Bear Share Thoughts
Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.
Sign up for the Love Letters newsletter for announcements, hand-picked letters, and other great updates from the desk of Meredith Goldstein
Stay up to date with everything Boston. Receive the latest news and breaking updates, straight from our newsroom to your inbox.
Be civil. Be kind.
Read our full community guidelines.To comment, please create a screen name in your profile
To comment, please verify your email address