Try Again Two Decades Later?

Friday | November 3, 2017

Love Letters Dating

Try Again Two Decades Later?

Meredith,

Here it goes.

I had an on-and-off relationship for six years, and he was the love of my life. At that time, I reached a point where I knew he wasn’t going to commit so I decided to move on. Two years later, I got married and had two kids, but I never could shake him. He was always on my mind.

More than 20 years later, I reached out to him – still married but wanting to see him. The feelings were still the same. It was so weird. He never got married but is in a relationship. He says the woman is not the one for him. It’s made me think about divorce so I can explore these feelings.

When I see him it’s great, and then he pushes me away and comes back again. Kinda the same way it was when we were dating. So weird. But it’s more than 20 years later, and I feel the same feelings. What I should do? Let it go or continue?

– Try Again?

Let it go – for the same reason you did two decades ago. He is unreliable and pushes you away when he feels like it. He tells you his girlfriend is not the one for him – but he’s still with his girlfriend, right? He’s the same person, and you’ve already rejected that guy. The answer to your riddle is that he hasn’t changed.

It would be more productive to focus your energy on figuring out why you felt the need to reach out to him now, and what that says about your marriage. You mention divorce as if it isn’t a massive decision. Maybe it isn’t. What does that mean?

Assume that any decisions you make about your husband will not result in a romance with your love from long ago. You can work on your marriage or start a life on your own. Those are the practical options.

– Meredith

Readers? Let it go?

Dating

Featured Comment

Why do you even need a divorce? Seems like you’re

exploring your feelingsu0022 just fine whilst married. Are you actually thinking the grand gesture would sweep him off his feet and finally settle with you?u0022 – McDimmerson Share Thoughts