He Thinks We’ve Been Talking Too Much

Thursday | November 16, 2017

Love Letters Dating

He Thinks We’ve Been Talking Too Much

Come on over tonight and say hello. Also, we chat at 1 p.m here.

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months now. We had been speaking every day and meeting up several times a week. One day, my messages were delivered but not read, despite him being active on WhatsApp. It was the first time that had happened.

I know he isn’t seeing anyone else and that we’re both very busy, but it doesn’t take long to text “sorry, busy rn.'” Worth mentioning: I told him I loved him during an intimate moment recently, but then quickly backpedaled.

I have asked him if I’ve done something wrong – if that’s why the communication has decreased – and he responded by saying that he felt we are talking too much, and that he needed his space. I am still very confused because he also says he still likes me and wants to see me. I am unsure about how to proceed, if at all. I’m 19, he’s 21.

– What’s Up?

Maybe he wants to slow things down, maybe he wants to break up. If you’re confused about his intentions (and you are, right?), ask him for some clarity. “Should we call it off?” “What do you mean by space?” There’s nothing wrong with asking follow-up questions so you know how to proceed.

It’s very possible that he just wants a little less daily conversation, and that would be OK. Not every delivered message has to be returned. The “I’m busy right now” text is not something you want to have to send if you’re actually busy.

Of course, this might also be about the “I love you.” Maybe that moment forced him think about whether he’ll ever be capable of reciprocating those feelings. That’s not a bad thing, by the way. If he’s never going to be all in, wouldn’t you rather know now?

If you meant that “I love you,” you need to be honest with yourself about whether you can be happy with less. You can’t keep backpedaling if you should be moving on.

– Meredith

Readers? Text less or move on? What happened here?

Dating Texts

Featured Comment

Sounds like he’s afraid things are getting too serious and is looking to manage your expectations. The best thing you can do is to accept what he’s giving you, and similarly downgrade him in your priorities.

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