Hi Meredith,

I’m a college student in Boston, currently in Los Angeles for an internship this summer. I’ve been here for more than a month and was fortunate enough to meet a great guy. Last night, we discussed our relationship, and he told me he is not interested in seeing anyone else. However, he’s not comfortable with the terms “boyfriend/girlfriend” for two reasons: 1. I am leaving at the end of the summer, and he doesn’t like the idea of just being a “two-month boyfriend,” and 2. he is a recovering alcoholic and is very much focused on his health and wellbeing right now.

In the past, I’ve always lived by the rules that I am either casually dating someone or I am their girlfriend. I am glad he is being honest with me about what he needs, but I can’t help but feel that a guy who is truly interested would have no problem being my boyfriend, despite life’s inconveniences. I tend to live by the book “The Rules,” if you can’t tell.

Why do I want the label? Well, I care for him a great deal, and I’d like to be able to have a concise way to state that. We have a solid relationship, and “so-and-so, a guy I’m dating exclusively” sounds unnecessarily complex to me. Why not just call it what it is?

Also, maybe part of it is that I don’t think our relationship needs to end when I leave. I fully intend to be back in Los Angeles next May after graduation, and I’ve done long-distance for longer periods of time before. We haven’t discussed this as a possibility.

I should be ecstatic about our conversation about exclusivity, but instead, I am hung up on the label. What do you think?

– Label-less in Los Angeles