I am a 38-year-old woman in a long-distance relationship with an older man. He’s energetic, adorable, and treats me well. I spend most days feeling grateful for our connection and everything about it. There are a couple of things that make me pause, however. We live five hours from each other. I don’t want to move to where he lives, and living here would take him away from necessary responsibilities. I’m open to moving to a new place for us both, but he’s a little less inclined.

He doesn’t want any more children. He had a vasectomy 15 years ago and has one son from his one previous marriage. Being with this man has taken me down the road of having to make a choice that I didn’t really worry about before. He’s never pressured me one way or another, but if I decide I want a child, I will need to end the relationship. I have never been clear about whether I wanted a child; I had a difficult upbringing and was responsible for my younger siblings into their adulthood. I’ve also had a lot of health issues around my reproductive system, so pregnancy might not be an option for me. I could be happy without children but I would always wonder if I made the choice not to try to get pregnant or to adopt for the right reasons.

Also, he is almost four inches shorter than me. I’m not a shallow woman, but it’s still hard for me to feel feminine. But the chemistry is ON. I love him. I know that every relationship brings quirks and questions. I’m just really beginning to question whether or not we have a chance.

– Questions