Hello Meredith,

Last weekend, after years of no contact, my ex-boyfriend texted me (albeit drunk) out of the blue.

Backstory is, we dated on and off in college and struggled to commit due to not knowing what our futures held after graduation. The uncertainty of a future created frustration at each other, and he definitely had narcissistic tendencies and manipulated me as a result. While he was nowhere near perfect, or even a good boyfriend, I could not deny that I cared for him and wished we could have a chance. When our plans left us in the same city we decided to follow our hearts and commit.

After months of successful dating, the weekend he moves to my city, he breaks up with me. It was a clean break but a hurtful one. He immediately deleted me on social media and I did not hear a word from him after. I never tried to contact him since it was clear it was his decision to break up. I was able to move on and date another guy (which ended amicably), but have not been in love since.

The text I received from my ex was vague, letting me know he was in my neighborhood. Since it was in the middle of the night, I responded the next morning, letting him know how much I hope he is doing well, but that he must have some idea of the hurt he caused me years ago. His response was that he only texted me so that we would be able to avoid running into each other that night.

I have struggled with the abandonment this break-up caused me since it occurred. I feel relief that I was able to finally tell him a part of what I felt, but I am crushed at the thought that he still has bad feelings toward me. I am clueless as to why he would feel this way and why he would try to avoid me after years of silence.

Part of me wishes I could move on without closure, but this past weekend has made me realize how much I want an apology. Since the reaction I received to my last attempt at confessing my feelings was immediately shut down, is there any hope in reaching out to him to let him know how I truly feel?

– Apology Seeker