Hi Meredith,

I’m new to college and I met a guy at school who is a few years older (in his 20s). At the time, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I was too focused on my schoolwork. Then one day we introduced ourselves. We got to know each other more, and he direct messaged me on Instagram. We hit it off almost instantly and we started hanging out. He told my friends that he liked me and wanted to get to know me, but the more I spent time with him, the more I had this gut feeling that something wasn’t right. But I ignored it.

He has never asked for anything sexual, but he has shown many other signs of interest, including introducing me to his friends, holding my hand, giving me hugs, and maintaining eye contact during conversations. But I am the one who texts him first. Some days I text him and he responds on other forms of social media. Recently, I asked him what we were doing, and he said he wasn’t ready for a relationship at the moment due to his busy schedule. He said he thought that for now, being friends was best. I understood completely but if I don’t text him first, we don’t talk at all. It’s frustrating. I feel like giving up because I feel like I’m put more effort into this “thing” we have than he does. Should I save myself the heartbreak and move on?

– Stuck Texting