What’s your love and relationship problem?
Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.
Dear Meredith,
I’m writing about my last relationship. I went on a bunch of dates over several months with someone I met through work. I thought things were going well and that we could become closer.
At some point, I made a suggestion that we could start sharing meals at each other’s homes – to save money on eating out. That’s when the relationship ended – when I made that suggestion.
Did I do something wrong? I don’t want to make that suggestion again in my next relationship if it was a mistake.
– Wondering
I don’t know enough about the relationship to tell you whether your meals-at-home idea was the deal-breaker. Maybe this person was thinking about ending it anyway. Who knows what was on their mind?
Even if your suggestion did cause this ending, it doesn’t mean you made a mistake. If this person didn’t want to take the relationship past formal restaurant dates, it was probably time to move on. If they didn’t want you to become a fixture in their home, you probably didn’t want them in yours.
There are a lot of people out there who would be thrilled to meet someone who is thoughtful about the cost of courtship. It doesn’t sound like you did anything wrong. You were just with the wrong person.
– Meredith
Readers? Any mistakes here?
No matter what, next time instead of suggesting that you eat at each other’s homes to save money, just ask the person over for dinner. Say you will cook for him/her. Preparing a meal for someone is a nice thing to do — conscripting them into mandatory meal preparation rotations is not.
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Ask Meredith at Love Letters. Yes, it’s anonymous.
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