A.

You know why he seems so important. You were in a stressful, dark period in your life. He brought lightness to it.

You experienced something new with him. He helped make that event pleasing (I assume).

Of course you’re going to think about him a lot – and romanticize all he can offer.

But the thing is, most of what you’re attached to is your own story about who he might be. You don’t know what he’s like at a music festival (he might be in a bad mood the whole time). You have no idea whether he’s soft-spoken but extroverted (have you ever seen him at a party?). You’re inventing a full character portrait for a man who was in your life for a short time. 

What you know: he was a great one-night experience … and he has not called you back.

My advice is to start romanticizing people who do call you back. Sounds simple, right? Well, it is. I wish I’d learned that when I was younger. Get psyched about someone who shows up and surprises you – someone who might be coming to you for a new experience. 

Get out there again, because the longer you sit around thinking of one man, the more important he gets – for no good reason.

You don’t have to seek a serious partner; these can be more casual, exploratory relationships. I have a feeling that the more you surrounded yourself with new faces, the less time you’ll have to stare at a wall and fantasize about a guy you’ve blocked on Instagram.

That’s another thing: stay busy. It’s harder to fall into a pit of longing if you’re on the go, doing activities that demand your full attention. 

If your brain gets stuck in a story about how he’s your soul mate, say this out loud: “That is not true. I’m making this up.” Accept that it’s fiction and move on with your day.

– Meredith

Readers? How do you get over a short connection that seems larger than life?