Dear Meredith,

“Jack” and I have been together for years. We are in our mid-twenties and met during college. We were on and off a couple of times during school but have been going strong for five years. He is the love of my life, best friend, confidant and savior, and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. A few years ago, he battled with addiction and depression. After that, he dealt with some family tragedies. But I stayed by his side and helped him get through it. I was his lifeline and his bank during that time, never once complaining.

Fast forward to a couple years later. I moved to live with him and to be near his family. It’s a daily struggle for me because it’s a long commute to Boston. My work hours are intense. He is employed, but he doesn’t make much money and he’s unhappy with the work. But for some reason he has zero motivation to do anything about it. He has random bills that have collected around the house that would take seconds to take care of, but he just can’t seem to get the motivation to just get it done.

I’m tired and frustrated and over being his caregiver. When I do end up snapping, his response is “No one asks you to do it!” and he’s right, but I feel like I have to. I guess my question is: When is enough, enough? Should I get out now before I end up resenting the entire thing and the stress that it puts on me? I have never ever insisted on being taken care of, but I do expect to be a team.

– The Caregiver, Outside of Boston