‘Should I Pack My Things?’

Thursday | July 13, 2017

Love Letters Dating

‘Should I Pack My Things?’

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years now. I am 21. We have had the most amazing, loving, caring relationship. However, in February he wanted to move back to his home state because he was having trouble finding a job. I came with him and found a part-time job as a receptionist.

A few weeks ago I found out that he had been texting another girl (just texting, not hanging out). He told me I’m overbearing and don’t give him a chance to breathe. I know that’s true, but my needs have changed now that I’m in a new state with no one but him. He also told me he wanted to be with me and make it work, so I asked him to put an end to the texting and to remove this woman from his social media accounts. He said he would, but he still hasn’t.

If it was important, wouldn’t he have done it already? Should I pack my things and go home even though I badly want this to work?

– Overbearing

This isn’t the answer you’re looking for, but it sounds like you need to make plans to leave.

It’s very possible that you’ve required too much of your boyfriend’s attention since the move, but that doesn’t give him a pass to start courting others while you’re still in an exclusive relationship. If he felt smothered, he should have worked on the problem with you, not someone else.

You’ve done a lot of moving for him – a lot of prioritizing his needs – and the result has been bad for both of you. You’d be a happier person if your choices were about you. Where do you want to live? Who do you want to spend time with when you’re not with your boyfriend? Start answering these questions without him in mind.

The best way to save the relationship – if that’s still possible – is to find a full life without him and then see how it goes. Even if he deletes her, it sounds like you both need time on your own.

– Meredith

Readers? Any hope here?

Dating

Featured Comment

‘On one hand you have 4 years invested in this and at this stage some counselling would probably help the relationship. On the other hand, you are very young and this is the only relationship you ever experienced. I’d move back home and see what else is out there. You have to be happy as an individual before a relationship will work.u0022 – sunalsorises

Share Thoughts