I don’t know what you mean by “go with the flow.” This is going to require a clear conversation. If she tells you she wants to have sex, you should ask her what’s changed.

It’s very possible she’s reset her expectations and wants to try something new, but you have no idea. Ask her how she feels. Do not guess.

If she tells you she’s open to having a more physical relationship before marriage – and that she knows you have not promised a future together – believe her. If she says she’s thought about this and is sure about it, don’t ask her to promise not to resent you in the future.

You can’t control her future feelings. If you break up, she could resent you for a bunch of reasons. That’s how breakups work a lot of the time. You might resent her too.

You said you want to be in the relationship and see where it takes you. What a great, honest way to tell her where you are. You can say you’d like to have sex (I assume that’s true), and explain what the act might mean to you. Maybe it would bring you closer. Perhaps you’d learn more about each other. This could help the relationship grow. But it wouldn’t be a placeholder for a promise you’re not ready to make.

Talk about it. This is not something you want to pursue from a place of confusion.

– Meredith

Readers? What are the right questions to ask? Should the LW stay away from this until the whole relationship is on a more serious track? Thoughts on the long-distance of it all?