She’s Been Distant

Tuesday | March 24, 2015

Love Letters Dating

She’s Been Distant

Submit your letters to this form. I cut this one down quite a bit. There were more details about her, but nothing about communication.

I’m a 30-year-old male who’s been living in the US for a little over half of my life. My story begins in December, when I a woman I made eye contact with at a bar. She is 26 years old. Besides being beautiful, she is also very open-minded, smart, outgoing, and adventurous.

After spending time with her, I realized she is the kind of person I’m looking for. Unfortunately, during the past three or almost four weeks, I’ve noticed that she has been very distant from me for no reason. All I have been doing is making sure that she feels comfortable. This is something I not only do with her but with all of the women in my life. I grew up in a family where respect toward women was a must.

The reason why I’m confused is that I haven’t done anything to cause her to be so distant. I’m not yet considering giving up on her; I feel I need to continue to try to see what is going on. This being said, I need some advice about what to do now. I strongly believe that things can work out.

If you need more details, I will be more than happy to provide them. (But you know what you need.)

– A Little Confused

You’re the one who needs more information. Instead of asking me why she’s pulling away, you have to turn to her to find out what’s up.

Respecting a woman doesn’t mean that you can’t ask her tough questions. You are allowed to say, “Hey, anything I should know? I feel like you’ve been a bit distant lately, and I just want to make sure things are OK.” Make it clear that you like honesty. It’s a good time to set that precedent.

Prepare yourself, because she might not have a clear answer for you. It’s possible that she’s just distracted and busy, or that this is how she behaves in any relationship after two months. If that’s the case, you might just need more time together. But if she tells you that she likes the status quo and that this is her version of normal, she might not be what you’re looking for. You can’t ignore your own needs.

Readers? How should he approach this problem?

– Meredith

Dating