I’m dating someone and it seems fairly serious. We met on Tinder, have been talking since October, and started dating for real a little over a month ago. We’ve started doing a lot of things that feel very couple-y to me. We have a standing date to watch a show together every week, I sleep over at her place at least once a week, we see each other almost every day, and we text constantly every day.

I tried to ask her the other day if we could define this a little bit and it didn’t go well. She told me she doesn’t want to feel trapped and wants to be able to go on dates with other people and not have to tell them about me. She’s still on Tinder and going out with people, which I didn’t know until that conversation. I really crave exclusivity. My marriage ended after an affair and it’s really important to me to feel secure and safe and like I’m a priority. But sometimes I also end up feeling like I’m just being a possessive jerk by asking her for exclusivity.

She says she’s willing to be exclusive but she needs awhile, but won’t say what that means. My friends think she’s leading me on and just using me until she finds someone else. I genuinely don’t know what to do. I’ve never been in this position when trying to define a relationship before. She says she cares about me and likes me a lot but won’t commit, and that honestly makes me feel like trash, just easily discarded. Do I stick this out and give it time or do I eject now?

– Eject?