She's in Providence. I'm not.

Friday | February 28, 2025

Love Letters Dating

She’s in Providence. I’m not.

Thinking about a breakup, dating, a divorce, doing none of the above? What’s on your mind? Send your own letter here – or to [email protected].

The woman I love lives far away. In Providence. Very far from me.

We are on the verge to falling madly in love. But there’s something standing in the way. And it’s NOT ME. No.

Is it because we’re not living in the same place, at the same time? I guess?

I can tell we’re perfect together.

She’s already told me multiple times that she loves me “forever.” But now that it’s time for us to get-together in real life … somehow, it just ain’t happenin’.

But that’s all I want.

I love this girl until the end of the world. And she told me she loves me until the end of the world. But somehow things keep not working out.

Any advice? :- )

– Ain’t Happenin’

Let’s set some rules for all of us.

Good rules.

I don’t like rules, but … we’ve had too many letters from people who’ve never met the love of their lives, even though very much want to!

1. If you’re communicating with someone you want to date, there should be plans to meet up pretty quickly. What’s counts as quickly? A few weeks. Maybe a month. Hopefully less. I know that’s arbitrary, but it feels right.
2. If all you get are messages (as opposed to calls and FaceTimes), it’s not enough. Maybe a text-only romance works for some people, but if you’re inspired to write a letter like this, you’re not one of them.
3. Don’t give anybody any money. A new relationship should not require sending cash or Venmoing anything.
4. If you’re getting to know someone in a healthy way, you don’t promise “until the end of time” before you know what you’re like together in person. If you’re promising eternity at this stage, consider why.
5. Some great relationships start with distance, but why jump into that if you don’t have to? It’s easier to connect with someone who’s not “very far away.”

Letter writer, you say you’re not the reason this relationship is stalling out. But maybe by choosing this specific connection, you’re standing in the way of a better opportunity that could work for you.

Consider letting go, please.

Also, and this is a very important point: I lived in Providence for two years. Want to know what I rarely did during that time? Leave Providence. Just saying.

– Meredith

Readers? Are there any exceptions to these rules? Let’s talk about the spike in people telling me they’ve found a great love they’ve never met.

Send your own letter here – or to [email protected].

Dating Distance