Hi all,

I will try to keep it short not to bore you all. My ex and I broke up three years ago. We ended it on good terms and still remain good friends. She lives on the other side of the world and has settled down with a new boyfriend. We have no romantic connection anymore — any contact is just general chit-chat, and she puts the occasional link up on my Facebook wall. I still value her and her family’s friendship.

Eight months ago I started seeing my current girlfriend while I was working abroad. She’s cute, funny, caring, and I enjoy being with her. We have only spent about five months together as we’ve been in different countries for one reason or another. From the start I mentioned that I got out of a relationship a while back and that I still remain in contact with my ex. But as time has gone on, she has become quite angry with the idea of me being in contact with my ex, resulting in the ultimatum this morning. “You can choose to talk to your ex or be with me.” Her point of view that exes are exes for a reason, which I can understand – depending on the outcome of the previous relationship.

The pair have never spoken to each other or met, and I have constantly reiterated that there is no chemistry between us — just a good friendship. I don’t feel comfortable being put in a position where my girlfriend controls who I talk to. That doesn’t seem like a healthy long-term option. When we finish traveling, we will be in separate but close countries so I feel that the control wouldn’t end at my ex. It could possibly start again with her wanting me to move to her as well. Does anyone have advice? I know it’s going to end up being an A or B situation, but I was checking to make sure I’m not missing an obvious option.

– A or B