A.
It’s possible she wasn’t trying to sabotage your happiness. Maybe she was wasted at the wedding. Perhaps your boyfriend was texting with someone with a similar name.
Regardless, people make mistakes. They grow up.
You don’t have to put it behind you – and maybe you’re doing too much work to try to forget. Instead, you can put the memory of the incident on a tray in your mind, like a little cup of coffee. You know it’s there, but so are a bunch of other weird uncomfortable life moments that aren’t resolved. All of these memories are lessons, and you’ll grab them if you need them. But they don’t have to haunt you all the time.
If this does haunt you quite a bit, you could bring it up – but not before her wedding. It sounds like the bridesmaids duties have given you a moment to consider the entire friendship and its flaws. That’s fine, but it doesn’t mean you have to get to some perfect place before you support her at this big event. Her brain is focused on a ceremony, logistics, maybe a first dance … all of the things. Maybe you’re thinking, “Am I really comfortable being in this inner circle?”
But you’re in it, so go with the flow. She needs a pack of people who can stand there and be nice to her. You have the rest of your life to say, “Hey, do you remember this one weird thing?” Or shake it off.
It doesn’t have to be now.
– Meredith
Readers? How do you let go of a thing that’s been in the back of your mind for forever? After years, do you forgive and move on or do you bring it up?
Thinking about a breakup, a complicated friendship, dating, a divorce, doing none of the above? What’s on your mind? Send your own letter here – or to [email protected].
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