Hi,

I am a 29-year-old woman and self-sufficient (own a house, like my job, take care of myself), and I am looking for a compatible partner. I have been seeing a 27-year-old guy on and off for a few months, and he seems very into me. Even though I have feelings for him, I feel like something is wrong.

He is very sweet, super funny, gentle, hardworking, and always willing to listen, but here are my concerns: 1) On the intellectual front, something is lacking. He is not curious about the world. He’s very attractive, and sometimes I feel like he relies on his looks more than his mind. He works but he lives at his parents house and dedicates most of his free time toward video games and the gym. I think those are great hobbies, but he seems to have no direction or responsibilities.

2) I feel like he isn’t making me feel very appreciated. He tells me that he has never been into a girl this much in his life (he has never really had a relationship) and he always makes time for me, but I feel like he doesn’t treat me that well. He assumes that when he comes over he will have dinner or breakfast, and it’s frustrating because we are always eating my food. He bought dinner twice and he complained about the price both times. He also expected me to drive, since he had driven the time before. I told him that I prefer he drive, so he offered to drive MY car. It seems like he is doing the bare minimum.

3) The last thing I’ve noticed is the lack of passion. He seems to think our chemistry is off the charts, but I feel like it’s the worst I’ve ever had. Normally, in the beginning of a relationship, I find just kissing would lead to action right off the bat, but his drive doesn’t match mine. He never declines, but I feel like I am frustrated and almost always left dissatisfied on that front.

I feel like he is a perfect fit on certain levels, but in those three areas, I keep getting disappointed. I can’t help but wonder if I am settling for the wrong person or being too picky.

– Too picky?