Settling For Good Enough

Thursday | May 21, 2015

Love Letters Dating

Settling For Good Enough

Hi Meredith,

I’ve been dating a girl for the last six months or so and things have been good. Not great, but good. Then again, I am in my early 30s and the last time I had a relationship that I would qualify as great was in college. I haven’t had too many relationships that have lasted this long, period. I can be, in case you can’t tell, pretty picky.

I really enjoy spending time with her and could see a future with her, but I’m not in love with her. I would like to get married and have a family, and always pictured myself there by now. I think she is more invested in the relationship than I am, and would like to move forward. I’m still holding back a bit, waiting to see if someone better comes along.

At this point in my life, I don’t know how much longer I can wait, but I also don’t want to settle for someone who is just good enough. Should I commit to her and move forward, or wait until I am love?

– Tired of Waiting in New Hampshire

Don’t commit. Please.

If you’ve spent the first six months of this relationship looking for something better, you’ll never stop the search. That’s no way to to live. It’s certainly no way to be married.

You can’t go all in with someone just because you’ve hit a certain age, and there’s no way to control timing. What is under your control is your current relationship status. Change it so you can get back to searching for the right partner. Picky or not, it’s possible for you to find something you want to keep.

Readers? Too picky? Should he be comparing this to the college relationship?

– Meredith

Dating

Featured Comment

LW, break up with this girl (nicely.) She deserves your undivided attention, and you deserve to have better than ‘good.’ There aren’t timetables. Heck, I’m in my early 40s and I haven’t found ‘the one’ yet.

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